Public Announcement, Wedding Feast (Walimah), Etiquettes of Coming Together Public Announcement of the Wedding

The majority of the scholars say that the public
announcement of the wedding is mustahabb (preferred, but less than
obligatory), but authentic hadith prove that it is obligatory. It is
never permissible to follow the opinions of scholars and imams once an
authentic and clear hadith is found to the contrary. All of the four
imams and other scholars forbid us to do this with their opinions.
Az-Zuhri says that the announcement is obligatory and states that if
two people get married secretly with two witnesses and ask them to keep
it secret, they should be separated immediately and the woman must wait
an 'iddah and receive her dowry. As we saw earlier, Imam Malik's
opinion on this situation was that they be separated and never again
allowed to marry. A likely reason for the opinion of many scholars
being that announcement was less than obligatory is:

They were either unaware of the hadith which make this clear or unaware of their authenticity.

Secret marriages were not practiced in the early days,
so the announcement had the appearance of being mere custom, not
something specifically endorsed by the shari'a

There are a number of hadith on this topic and all of
them are hassan. Hassan is a rating somewhat less strong than sahih. It
is the opinion of ahlus-sunnah wa al-jama'a (the mainstream of Muslims)
that all hadith which are hassan or sahih are binding upon Muslims both
for rulings and beliefs unless they are contradicted by a stronger form
of evidence. In fact, the classification of hassan branched off from
sahih - in the early days of hadith science hadith were either sahih
(sound) or dha'if (unsound). Later, hassan as added as a sub-category
within the sound hadith. The following hadith on the subject at hand
are all hassan:

"Make the marriage well-known and announce it."

"That which separates the halal from the haram is the beating of the duff (drum) and voices at the wedding."

As you can see, these hadith are unambiguous and show
clearly that Az-Zuhri's opinion is the correct one - that public
announcement of a marriage is obligatory and an essential part of the
marriage (since it separates the halal from the haram).

As for the percussion and singing, this is something
which Islam has allowed on certain occasions, namely the two 'eids and
at wedding feasts. There are various hadith which show this in the
following excerpt from Albani's Adaab az-Zafaaf (The Etiquettes of
Marriage):

SINGING AND BEATING OF THE DUFF (BANGLELESS TAMBOURINE)

It is allowed for the husband to give the women
permission at his wedding to announce the wedding with beating on the
duff and with allowed singing only. Allowed singing is that which does
not contain de******ions of physical beauty or mention of any kind of
sin. There are various hadith about this:

On the authority of Ar-Rubai' bint Mu'awwadh, who said:
"The Prophet (peace be upon him) entered my house after my wedding
night, and sat on my mat as close as you are now sitting to me (the
address here is to the one who narrated the hadith from her). Then,
some servant girls of ours began beating on the duff and singing about
our ancestors who were killed at the battle of Badr. Then one of them
said: "And among us is a prophet who knows what tomorrow will bring."
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to her: "Leave this and go back to
what you were saying before it."

On the authority of Aisha, that she took a woman to her
husband, a man among the Ansar. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to
her: "O Aisha did you not have any singing (lit: frivolity) with your
procession? Verily the Ansar love such things." In another version of
this hadith, the Prophet (peace be upon him) is reported to have said:
"Did you send a servant girl along with her to beat the duff and sing?"
...

On the authority of Aamir ibn Saad Al-Bajliy, who said:
I entered upon Qardha ibn Kaab and Abu Masud and (he mentioned one
other person whose name I can't remember), and saw servant girls
beating on the duff and singing. I said: "Are you all in silent
acceptance of this and you are among the companions of the Messenger of
Allah?!" They said: "Verily, he gave us permission for this at wedding
celebrations, and for crying over the dead as long as it is not
wailing."

It should be noted that none of this give permission for
live bands, mixing between men and women, videos, and other evils which
are practiced today. All of these practices should be stopped and a
wedding involving such practices should not be attended.

The Walimah

The welimah is the "wedding feast". The husband is
required to sponsor this feast after the marriage contract, the sunnah
being three days after husband and wife have been together. There are
many hadith about this important practice, among them:

"A wedding must have a feast."

The above was spoken to Ali (May Allah be pleased with
him) when he sought Fatimah, the Prophet's (peace be upon him) daughter
in marriage. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to Abdur-Rahman ibn
'Auf in the form of an order:

"Give a walimah, even if it is just with one sheep."

As for three days, it was mentioned as the Prophet's practice when he married Safiya:

On the authority of Anas, may Allah be pleased with him,
who said: "The Prophet (peace be upon him) entered upon his wife and
sent me to invite some men for food."

Also on the authority of Anas that he said: "The Prophet
(peace be upon him) married Safiya, and her freedom was her dowry. He
gave the banquet after three days." [Adaab Az-Zafaaf]

Although many scholars view the walimah as a highly
stressed sunnah, the above hadith and others favor the interpretation
that it is obligatory. In any case, it clearly should not be taken
lightly or neglected without strong reasons.

How Much?

The Prophet's (peace be upon him) order to Abdur-Rahman
ibn 'Auf to give a feast "even if only with on sheep" would seem to set
a minimum for the walimah. However, it is permissible for the walimah
to be simple and not include meat according to the following hadith:

"The Prophet (peace be upon him) stayed between Khaibar
and Al-Madinah for three days during which he had entered with his wife
Safiya. Then I invited the Muslims to his wedding banquet. There was
neither meat nor bread at his banquet. Rather, leather eating mats were
brought out and on them was placed dates, dried milk, and clarified
butter. The people ate their fill."

Serving meat is clearly preferable, however, since it
was the consistent sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and the
Companions and based on the Prophet's order to Abdur-Rahman. The fact
that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was on an expedition in the above
narration may also have been a factor bringinginto question the general
applicability of the hadith.

Clearly, the walimah should not involve excess or
wastefulness which are forbidden at all times. This has become an
almost universal custom in most Muslim countries and is an evil
practice which should be stopped. Making more food than can possibly be
consumed and wasting what remains is a form of tabdhir (wasting or
destroying wealth), about which Allah said:

"And give the relative his right and the needy and the
traveler and do not waste wealth needlessly. (26) Verily, those who
waste wealth are the brothers of the devils and the devil is in
rebellion against his Lord." [Noble Quran 17:26-27]

Who to Invite?

When giving the walimah, you should invite family,
friends and neighbors. It is also commendable to give some of the food
in sadaqa in gratitude to Allah for the blessing of the marriage. It is
very important NOT to invite only the wealthy or people of influence
and ignore the poor. Rather, focus should be directed to inviting the
best Muslims one knows regardless of their "social" standing. The
Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

"The most evil food is that of the walimah. The rich are
invited to it but the poor are left out. And whoever ignores the
invitation has disobeyed Allah and His Messenger" [Bukhari]

It is clear from the above that if one is invited to a
walimah and there is not disobedience being practiced than it is
obligatory to respond to that invitation without valid excuse. This is
also found explicitly in the following hadith:

"When one of you is invited to a walimah, he should go." [Bukhari & Muslim]

What if You are Fasting?

If you are fasting an obligatory fast, you should still
attend the invitation but abstain from eating and make du'a for the
host. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said to a man who remained away
because he was fasting:

"When one of you is invited to a meal, let him respond.
If he was not fasting, let him eat. If fasting, let him supplicate (for
the host)." [Muslim]

If you are fasting a
voluntary fast, you have your choice. You can break your fast and
participate (especially if your host wishes that) or you may continue
fasting and pray for your host. If you break a voluntary fast, there is
no need to make it up.

Acceptable Excuses for Not Attending

Anything which allows one not to attend prayer in the masjid such as illness, great distance, etc.

You should not attend a walimah where evil practices are
committed such as mixing of the sexes, music, alcohol, etc. Only if you
have the ability to stop such evil may you attend for that purpose.

If the invitation is for which only the rich are invited
to the exclusion of the poor. This is because the Prophet (peace be
upon him) described this as the "most evil food".

According to Ibn Taimia, a person should not accept the invitation of another person who does not pray.

Greetings to the Groom

The guests should make du'a for the groom and his bride
and ask Allah to bless them. The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to
say to the groom:

"May Allah bless you, bestow blessings upon you and join you two together in all that is good." [Abu-Daud & others - Sahih]

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